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Breastfeeding on Sesame Street?

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Looks like we might get to see Abby Cadabby’s boobies after all!

Thanks to the newest campaign by moms who want to see breastfeeding brought back to Sesame Street.   Apparently they feel that Sesame Street is the most appropriate forum in which to discuss lactation to young children or at least one  good way to do it.  I don’t really have a problem with that.  Let’s face it.  Sesame Street is a PBS show which is pretty “au natural” already.  Most of the parents who have their kids watching “The Street” and not some hyped-up Nickelodeon show are all about embracing differences and opening the mind.  As long as Carter’s not catching major nipple action from Prairie Dawn, I don’t see any problems here.

By while Sesame Street is on the subject of discussing normal, natural human behavior – I would like them to also teach my children the following circumstances so that I won’t need to have the awkward conversation myself.  Such as:

  • “Big Bird Gets a Big Boner” – I’d like to see a whole episode of Big Bird waking up in his over-sized bird’s nest with a big ole feathered boner every morning.  I’d like to see how he tries to hide said boner behind a bowl of birdseed cookies as he creeps down the sidewalk.  I’d like to see a heart to heart with Snuffalupagus telling him it’s okay, it happens to all preteen birds his age.  ‘Cause you know Snuffy’s hung.  He’s an elephant or a wooly mammoth or something that requires a big package!
  • “Zoe Stains Her New White Dress” –  Poor Zoe.  Wearing the brand new dress she got for her birthday, feeling very pretty.  When all of a sudden she starts cramping, her boobs start to hurt, she’s eating everything in sight and she’s crying for no reason.  And just when things couldn’t get worse, she stands up from her chair and notices a big red stain in her underwear.  Better run down to Hooper’s Store for some tampons and some oxi-clean!
  • “Grover Picks The Wrong Girl” – Even Super Grover can’t overcome the power of the mighty STD.  Grover’s been itching all day and his blue testicles are burning like they’re on fire.  Looks like Sesame Street got a little TOO 70’s with their all-night rave party and now Grover’s got to make a trip to the doctor for some antibiotics.   “C is for Chlamydia, it’s good enough for me!”
  • “Ernie Pops His Cherry” – By now we’re all convinced that Bert and Ernie are gay so why not go back in time and learn all about their first sexual experience.  The stage is already set with their matching “E” and “B” beds in their shared bedroom.  Put on a little groovy music (thanks to our musical guest host Isaac Hayes) and let the muppet romping begin!
  • “Betty Lou Can’t Cool Down” – Why?  Because she’s going through menopause!  So she sticks her purple head into the freezer to try to tame the night sweats that have kept her up all night.  That and listening to the steady creaking noise coming from Bert and Ernie’s bed.  Betty Lou can talk about her prescribed cocktail of estrogen pills and vitamins as well as her vaginal dryness and sudden hair loss.  Good times, good times.
  • “Elmo Has To Wash His Sheets Again” – That crazy kid is always doing something nutty!  Only this time he’s actually busting a nut!  Apparently he’s not been dreaming about his friend “the drawer” or  “the shade” but instead has been fantasizing about someone who rocks his red muppet world.  Enough to cause a muppet explosion all over his choo-choo sheets.  La la la la!

Of all the subjects Sesame Street chooses not to touch, I don’t think breastfeeding should be one of them.  They did an episode back in the 70s talking about it and then again in the 80s when Maria was nursing her real-life child on the show.  In both cases the babies (and boobies) were covered up and the discussion was age-appropriate for young children.  What’s the big deal?

If anyone can put it in terms for kids to understand, it’s Sesame Street.



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